Padded Cell


My thrill in the personal time freed up by preschool lasted for about an hour after I picked up my kid. Aud had woken up late that morning, and preschool had been so very exciting, that a nap just did not happen.


Hell hath no crazy like a toddler without a nap.


The next two days brought her a little cold and slight fever. No second day of preschool. Not enough sleeping for anyone. More insanity for everyone. I brought out the pack-n-play to serve as a baby jail. Don’t you judge me! When she’s in Full Crazy, I can’t go pee without her climbing the couch to get my Kindle off the shelf and start buying things. Or putting cereal in my coffee. Or shutting down the entire TV system, which is a moral offense of the highest caliber in this household.


On that topic, PBS won’t come in anymore. It’s like I have to parent my own child ALL THE TIME now.


Oh, and when you DO put the child in baby jail, you’d better make sure she has a proper diaper on, because if she’s in underwear, she will prove to you that she has some pretty great control over that bladder when she’s pissed off.


So Andrew has an office space right off our dining room. A great little room with French doors. Well, he’s currently fixing up part of our basement so he can move all his crap work downstairs. And then his office will be mine! My first inclination was to make it a little schoolroom/library that can double as a guest room. But then this week happened and my idea now is to pad the walls and make it a little asylum for destructive monkey toddlers.


Can you picture it? (Can  you picture anything? Sheesh.)

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First Day of Preschool


So this happened.

IMG_0686 P6010026

Actually, there was supposed to be a First Day of Preschool picture here but we decided it would be more fun to argue about how to get the toddler to stay in one spot and where exactly that spot should be and why didn’t you take the picture, she was still for 4 whole seconds!?!?


And, what? Preschool? But she’s my baaaaaaby. Okay, to be fair, it’s two mornings a week. She will play in the dirt and hit a couple of kids and come home to me.


I have no idea if that’s true. She’s really more of an exuberant hugger, though I’ve seen her greet her best friend with a shriek in the face and a whack on the head. But not long ago, I was talking to one of the women in our church nursery (the only non-home place we’ve ever left her before). She told me Audrey was quite solemn and calm there.


Solemn. Calm.


This child:

solemn and calm

So it turns out I don’t know who Audrey is, really. I see only a few aspects of her. The loud, adorable, monkey person I have at home. Or the charming kid who goes out into the world with me by her side, the one who says “hi” to every person she sees. Who even says “hi” to women entering a restaurant bathroom while she’s spread-eagle on the changing table. Or points at a kid and shouts, “BOY!” like an accusation.


So we took her to preschool today. About the time we’d normally be sitting in our jammies (that’s all of us, not just her) on the couch with a bowl of Cheerios and Curious George on TV. Swept her out the door, brought her to this room full of new people and a few minutes later said, hey, kid, you’re going to play here this morning and then Mama will come get you, okay? And her solemn self nodded solemnly, kissed us goodbye, and went off to play. The uncertainty in her face coupled with the total acceptance of the situation just killed me. She didn’t cry. I had to leave quickly before I did though.


I can’t wait to find out who she has been when I come to pick her up today.

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