What It’s Like to Talk to Me

May21

I’ve run out of baby things to obsess about, so I’ve had to cast my net a bit wider lately.

Hey, Andy! I say. You’re going to think I’m crazy.

Silence.

But I’ve got about 4 good reasons I’d like to, maybe, start with the cloth diapers in the hospital instead of waiting until we come come.

Long stare.

No, I know it seems like extra work for no reason, but hear me out. First, those babies go from aquatic living to land-dwelling in a second. Do you remember how dry Audrey’s skin was? So putting our boy in something designed to suck moisture from his skin would just be uncomfortable for him. I don’t want him to be any more uncomfortable than he has to be. It’ll just make more work for us!

Silence.

And you know how doctors and nurses are so obsessed with how much output the kid has? They’re all, how many wet diapers a day? And I’m all, how do you measure? You could leave a disposable on for a half hour or half the day and it would be, you know, one wet diaper. But with cotton on his butt, you know.

Silence.

Also, it would be all the more hospital disposables we could stash in our bags to use for emergencies later.

Silence.

And fourth. It would give your crazy wife one random thing to have control over in a situation that will be full of a lot on unknowns.

Silence.

Think about it!

End of conversation.

posted under husband, pregnancy
One Comment to

“What It’s Like to Talk to Me”

  1. Avatar May 21st, 2014 at 12:34 am Julie Says:

    And if you think this is one-sided, you should have heard the fight we had for three weeks over circumcision, in which I was the only one talking.